“I had been cutting my hair (long,
longish, short, you name it) alone or, occasionally, with a little help of my
friends, for the last 18 years. Sometimes naked, one time I was drunk too, the
living, you know…
Lately, as part of my mindful
effort to join the world of normie adulthood, I decided it was about time to change
my ways to some extent. I chose the barber to begin with…ok, I admit, I felt
like taking the mild approach, not a big fan of shock therapy and the like, I
live in Greece after all… you get me, right?
But then again, I was up for an
honorable compromise… not for nothing my friend!
So, naturally, I chose the barber
shops run by Pakistanis, Bangladeshis etc. These people gave me a haircut for 5
euros each time, half price, or even more, than their Greek colleagues which
anyway turned too hipster for my taste in the times of Airbnb [RIPieces].
And yet, it wasn’t really about
the money (please stop thinking like an outdated Marxist zealot!), it was
about… well, you must have guessed it already, the “experience!”
Don’t laugh, it w a s an
experience every single time, you know that I’m craving for those, it’s in my lusty
millennial blood, what can I say…
So… let me tell you how it
went… once a Pakistani took a pass on me, nothing fancy, but still, it was
something new for me… As far as I remember Greek barbers only talk football
during your time at their store, boring stuff, you see…
Another time I entered a
Pakistani’s barber shop, city center again, a place with banners of “3 EUROS”
hanged outside. I gave him 4 but he never gave me my change back… I felt a bit
uncomfortable, I must admit, but it counts as an experience too, especially if
you consider the fact that his place brought me in mind the film “My Beautiful
Launderette”.
And there was another barber that
as he was cutting my hair he noticed that I felt stiff and guess what he felt
like doing… he started massaging my shoulders! no, not as a joke… he meant it! And
he did it masterfully, like a wise man with a long full beard coming from the
East, as someone that understands the body as a flow of energy and learned at a
young age how to channel this energy…
If only you knew how easy it
was for him to take the stress parasitizing
upon my body with a few sudden
moves – nothing sensual I can assure you!
Oh… last but not least, I
shouldn’t’ forget the Bangladeshi that spontaneously took care of my eyebrows
after he finished with my hair…
And then… lockdown! Boom! The
virus! The virus! So now I’m back to the old days cutting my hair by myself
once again…”
And
as I listened and listened to my friend it became crystal clear to me:
corona virus is a global
conspiracy against millennials.
