baby, it's cold inside; echoes from a (social) distance #6

“I had been cutting my hair (long, longish, short, you name it) alone or, occasionally, with a little help of my friends, for the last 18 years. Sometimes naked, one time I was drunk too, the living, you know… 

Lately, as part of my mindful effort to join the world of normie adulthood, I decided it was about time to change my ways to some extent. I chose the barber to begin with…ok, I admit, I felt like taking the mild approach, not a big fan of shock therapy and the like, I live in Greece after all… you get me, right? 

But then again, I was up for an honorable compromise… not for nothing my friend!

So, naturally, I chose the barber shops run by Pakistanis, Bangladeshis etc. These people gave me a haircut for 5 euros each time, half price, or even more, than their Greek colleagues which anyway turned too hipster for my taste in the times of Airbnb [RIPieces]. 

And yet, it wasn’t really about the money (please stop thinking like an outdated Marxist zealot!), it was about… well, you must have guessed it already, the “experience!”

Don’t laugh, it w a s an experience every single time, you know that I’m craving for those, it’s in my lusty millennial blood, what can I say…

So… let me tell you how it went… once a Pakistani took a pass on me, nothing fancy, but still, it was something new for me… As far as I remember Greek barbers only talk football during your time at their store, boring stuff, you see…

Another time I entered a Pakistani’s barber shop, city center again, a place with banners of “3 EUROS” hanged outside. I gave him 4 but he never gave me my change back… I felt a bit uncomfortable, I must admit, but it counts as an experience too, especially if you consider the fact that his place brought me in mind the film “My Beautiful Launderette”. 

And there was another barber that as he was cutting my hair he noticed that I felt stiff and guess what he felt like doing… he started massaging my shoulders! no, not as a joke… he meant it! And he did it masterfully, like a wise man with a long full beard coming from the East, as someone that understands the body as a flow of energy and learned at a young age how to channel this energy…

If only you knew how easy it was for him to take the stress parasitizing upon my body with a few sudden moves – nothing sensual I can assure you!

Oh… last but not least, I shouldn’t’ forget the Bangladeshi that spontaneously took care of my eyebrows after he finished with my hair… 

And then… lockdown! Boom! The virus! The virus! So now I’m back to the old days cutting my hair by myself once again…”

And as I listened and listened to my friend it became crystal clear to me: 

corona virus is a global conspiracy against millennials.