baby, it's cold inside; echoes from a (social) distance #6

“I had been cutting my hair (long, longish, short, you name it) alone or, occasionally, with a little help of my friends, for the last 18 years. Sometimes naked, one time I was drunk too, the living, you know… 

Lately, as part of my mindful effort to join the world of normie adulthood, I decided it was about time to change my ways to some extent. I chose the barber to begin with…ok, I admit, I felt like taking the mild approach, not a big fan of shock therapy and the like, I live in Greece after all… you get me, right? 

But then again, I was up for an honorable compromise… not for nothing my friend!

So, naturally, I chose the barber shops run by Pakistanis, Bangladeshis etc. These people gave me a haircut for 5 euros each time, half price, or even more, than their Greek colleagues which anyway turned too hipster for my taste in the times of Airbnb [RIPieces]. 

And yet, it wasn’t really about the money (please stop thinking like an outdated Marxist zealot!), it was about… well, you must have guessed it already, the “experience!”

Don’t laugh, it w a s an experience every single time, you know that I’m craving for those, it’s in my lusty millennial blood, what can I say…

So… let me tell you how it went… once a Pakistani took a pass on me, nothing fancy, but still, it was something new for me… As far as I remember Greek barbers only talk football during your time at their store, boring stuff, you see…

Another time I entered a Pakistani’s barber shop, city center again, a place with banners of “3 EUROS” hanged outside. I gave him 4 but he never gave me my change back… I felt a bit uncomfortable, I must admit, but it counts as an experience too, especially if you consider the fact that his place brought me in mind the film “My Beautiful Launderette”. 

And there was another barber that as he was cutting my hair he noticed that I felt stiff and guess what he felt like doing… he started massaging my shoulders! no, not as a joke… he meant it! And he did it masterfully, like a wise man with a long full beard coming from the East, as someone that understands the body as a flow of energy and learned at a young age how to channel this energy…

If only you knew how easy it was for him to take the stress parasitizing upon my body with a few sudden moves – nothing sensual I can assure you!

Oh… last but not least, I shouldn’t’ forget the Bangladeshi that spontaneously took care of my eyebrows after he finished with my hair… 

And then… lockdown! Boom! The virus! The virus! So now I’m back to the old days cutting my hair by myself once again…”

And as I listened and listened to my friend it became crystal clear to me: 

corona virus is a global conspiracy against millennials.

baby, it's cold inside; echoes from a (social) distance #5

Planning to binge watch TV-series during lockdown doesn’t really sound like a bad idea to my ears.

I have a feeling though that by the end of the corona frenzy, opium, rather than TV streaming services, could be more relevant to our state of affairs.

Afghanistan won’t stand alone on this herculean task; to provide that is the global population with large quantities of opiate hugs from God. 

Not to plant ideas in people’s minds but one could easily replace tulips with opium poppies.

As a famous person once said, “if there is a will for money, there is always a way”. 

baby, it's cold inside; echoes from a (social) distance #4

baby, it's cold inside; echoes from a (social) distance #3

Shit my pants; freaking out; cracking up; and so on, and so forth. 

That’s what disappearing from our sight toilet paper stands for; to clean up the mess generated automatically by people’s fear in the face of death, our old friend, as old as storytelling. 

One should be sympathetic, compassionate, not to mention considerate towards other people’s fears, especially when we ‘re dealing with matters of life and death, or purely death in this case infected as it appears to be by a virus, yet another ancient co-traveler. 

However, and not to disregard knowledge that springs by noticing the attitudes of our fellow earthlings, one shouldn’t neglect the fact that fear triggers aggression; and as for aggression, let’s say it’s served along with pain and injustice. 

Let me be clear; I worked along with wolves, I fucked foxes and hyenas, I wasted my time talking to piggos, I had drinks with seducingly exotic migratory birds and I listened carefully, and eternally grateful, to wise owls – complete the list free at will. 

And of course, if history teaches us anything at all is that in times of pandemics or wars humans tend to think mostly about survival, just like any other living species.  

To survive at all costs means to simply care about oneself, to act against the interest of others. 

Survival, at its purest form, antagonizes solidarity; the same way love knows nothing of social distance. 

And yet, in the end, truth prevails. 

baby, it's cold inside; echoes from a (social) distance #2

In times like these, its good to have friends.